Sunday, August 14, 2011


Our Family July 2011


Our "updated" family photo.  It has taken me the last three weeks to be strong enough to even get this posted.  There is definately an empty spot in more ways than one.  I have been keeping super busy and keeping up on running/walking/biking even in the heat we've all endured.  For those of you who didn't know - a good sweat will help lesson the anxieties that tend to visit.  I feel like I'm beginning to adjust to the "New Normal".  I don't like it - but I have no choice.  I have to keep moving forward.  I have to keep my motto playing over and over in my head. 

It's been 4 months since Randy's passing. In one way the time has gone pretty quickly and in yet another way it hurts worse today than it did 4 months ago. I miss him like crazy. My grandkids are always talking about him - which is good - I want them to talk about him. A very big part of me will never be the same. I have reached each each stage of grief a couple times over and I've been conquering the stages one by one... 1.  Denial - It hasn't really happened - I know he's going to come walking back through that door.  2.  Anger -  Why did God have to take him???  3.  Bargaining - I lost this one before the session could start.  4.  Depression - All the firsts I've already endured and more to come.  5.  Acceptance.  No explanation needed.

I know the process is going to take a long time....  I'm learning tons more than I ever wanted to know.

I've managed to do some traveling with my company here lately.  Doing some one day stuff here and there.  Two weeks ago I took a group to Chicago for shopping.I took BJC along and we had a great time. We did some shopping, sight seeing and also fed a homeless man at Millinium Park. Yesterday I was actually a passenger on a great trip through Amish Country.  My mom got a workout on this one. We were in and out of that bus all day long.  Enjoyed it alot.

The biggies last week for me -- My oldest grandaughter started all day kindergarten - I've met her teacher and seen her classroom.  She's all settled in after two days of school and has become a pro at it all already.  My oldest grandson started a new Day Care and surprised us all by really enjoying his new surroundings.  He will start preschool there soon.  The younger of my grandaughters will begin preschool in a couple of weeks- I'm sure she will adjust in her surroundings just fine as well.  I'm excited for all of them.  The youngest - he will just enjoy the break from his sister I'm sure.

I'm exploring some options for my idle winter stuck in the house time.  Stay tuned for possible a sneak peak.     

"You should hope for enough happiness to make you sweet - enough trials to make you strong - enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy."