R's Final Resting Place - Rainbow Falls, Smoky Mountains - Gatlinburg, TN

I have just returned from an amazing time away with my kids and their families.  We stayed in a cabin the Smoky Mountains.  The purpose of the vacation was a tribute to R.  He loved the Smoky Mountains.  BJ, A & myself hiked 6 miles in the heat uphill and back down to fulfill the purpose of our trip.  I felt a sense of peace following the scattering of his remains.  I know his spirit was with us as we shed some tears and said our good byes.  I wondered if we could get any closer to Heaven than where we were.  We celebrated his life with ice cream because we know that's what he would of wanted us to do.

This is our cabin.  We had a great time just being together. The cabin had three floors with three king size bedrooms and bathrooms as well as queen size sofa's.  We each had our own floor.  There were two huge decks with swings and gliders that got used daily.  We enjoyed it alot.  To have all the grandkids in the same place is tons of fun.  Never a dull moment. 

This was the view from our deck.  Quite a calming sight.  We all loved to go out there and just relax.  The beauty created for us all to take in is absoutely amazing. 

This little?? guy decided to join our neighborhood because he was apparently hungry.  Luckily the kids got to see him a little better before he was chased away.  There was a Black Bear alert while we were there.  Lucky us.  We were always checking around the corner when we wanted to set outside.  The neighborhood we were in was called Black Bear Falls.  I guess he knew where he was supposed to be. 

My beautiful grandkids.  For the most part - they were full of smiles the entire time we were together.  The two on each end belong to my daughter and the two in the middle belong to my son.  I felt very blessed the last few days. Emotions were raw and it was a bittersweet trip - but we were all glad we did it and we did it together.  That's what families do.  








I think these difficult times have helped me to understand better than before how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes around worrying about are of no importance whatsoever. 

Time continues to get away from me daily. The days are running from one to another and alot of time outside of work I honestly have no idea where it goes. I have kept very busy with work, running/walking/biking almost daily, watering (since we've had no rain for a month) and tending to my garden and flowers. I've posted a picture of my banana tree many of you have been wondering about. It's my little bit of Island Paradise right off my deck. It now has 4 big leaves. They just keep coming.  I'm told by the end of summer I should have green bananas and maybe next year ripe ones. My garden is also doing very well. As you can see it looks like it's on steroids.   I have a multitude of fresh green beans to enjoy.  I will eventually have a ton of tomatoes.  My zuchinni are currently being enjoyed by some creature who finds his way into my garden at night.  Last night I took the advice of a friend and hung CD's in amongst the zuchinni plants and it's supposed to scare the creatures away.......  I'll know soon if that worked.  Very frustrating to know that the fruits of my labor are for nothing! 

I think, hope, pray that my brand new car is now good to go.  It visited the mechanic shop two times within a weeks time.  It was making a horrible noise when starting periodically and it died on me twice in two intersections.  Oddly enough - they have had 4 other cars with my make and model that were doing the same thing---- BUT they chose not to fix mine like the other 4 the first time.  They updated a couple of computer programs and said it was good to go.  After a couple of days it told me different and I hauled it back and made my case and it was fixed.  They had to replace cam solenoid valves. It has been running very well and I hope it continues.  R wanted to me have a dependable car and I know he would not be happy if he knew I was dealing with this sort of thing. 

I'm very guilty for not returning phone calls to those of you who have left messages...I am doing what works for me right now. I'll get back to you -- be patient. I'm grateful for the warm weather so I can be outside. Staying home is a tough thing for me sometimes.   Last weekend was a double whammy - On Saturday - R had been gone for 3 months and on Sunday - it would of been our 35th wedding anniversary.   I've said it before - all those "first" things are never ending.  At the end of every hard day is a new day to look forward to.  I did receive a very precious gift this last week - my nephew (the family Jeweler) resized R's wedding band for me to wear.  I love it!!!  I have always liked this particular band and it's a constant reminder of what we had together.  Thank you JTM.  It looks awesome!  You do such a wonderful job!
"The hardest part about moving forward is not looking back." I spend alot of time going back over the last month of R's life. I don't know why it keeps coming back to me. It's one of those things that I have to get over. I have so many great memories of our 37 years together. I am so blessed with all my wonderful friends and family who have been there for me and the encouaragement that keeps coming. It means so much!  Thank you!!! 

I have no clue where the last week has gone - other than to say that I have kept extremely busy which is my ulitmate plan. It helps to ease the quietness of this house.  Last Sunday I traveled down south to see my wonderful son in action - doing what he does best!  I'm so proud of him!!  My deck has been powerwashed and stained thanks to my wonderful friends and family.  It looks marvelous!  What a big job!  It was a tough day though because it brings on yet another first of doing something R and I have done together in the past.

Me and My Best Friend

Today is another holiday......honestly where do they all come from??  I never knew how what was and will never be can eat away at one's heart.  This photo is my best friend and I.  My daughter and family & I were included in her families 4th of July party this past weekend.  Thanks B & B - we all had a great time and E is already asking to come back to B's house. 

A huge thank you to the guys at R's work they provided me with a gift card to get a tree in R's memory - I accomplished that his weekend.  I was able to get a small tree and 4 new bushes.  My wonderful neighbor assisted me in getting the old out and the new in.  So thankful for those people at my fingertips. I was starting to get out bush #2 when I noticed very quickly this 3 ft. snake that left me know it was apparent I was messing with his home.  We had a little stare down and I moved on to the other side of the landscaping as I waited for him to move on.  I thought he had moved on - however --- he moved back to his residence.  So thankfully - my neighbor  was able to move him onward to look for new housing hopefully at someone elses' home.  Word is he was "just" a garter snake and he's harmless.   But to me - he might as well of been 7 ft. long and as big around as my thigh.  My new tree and bushes look great - so thank you guys!!!  It means a great deal to me to have a beautiful visual in R's honor.  

I'm off to get my mileage in before it gets sunny and hot today.  Happy 4th of July to you all.  I continue to press onward.  I pray for God to see me though and keep me going.