December 19, 2011

Hard to believe that it's been over a year that the world as we knew it spiraled out of control. A year ago I was giving everyone a play by play per day on what we were going through.  It all seems like a bad dream.  Things like this always happen to someone else - not people like us.  I will never understand it all.......and it's not for me to question. 

Time just continues to move on - no matter what.  I miss Randy so  much.  It's very tough to come home to an empty quiet house every day.  I will admit somedays it feels like he is at work and I've got a few hours to get some things accomplished before he walks in the door.  And then I remember....I would give anything to have him back healthy and happy.  I have an oceanliner full of memories which I cherish.  Everybody out there needs to keep your memories alive - create new ones and keep them close to your heart. 

I'm finding plenty of things to fill my time to keep busy outside of working.  It's the only way I can keep moving forward.  Very thankful for my kids and grandkids who are my rock!  We will all be together for several days over the holidays doing something different to escape the way we always did things.  I'm looking forward to having everyone together.  I will report on what we did following the holidays.

I accomplish an entire session of GriefShare. Fourteen weeks to be exact.  I actually got to where I enjoyed going.  I learned quite a bit along the way.  I feel like it helped me in many ways.  I also made some friends with people who share my story.  We became a close group we now can call friends.  We will continue to support each other for hopefully a long time to come.

This season of "Happy -Joyful" has been a tough one for me.  I will be very glad when 2012 arrives.  It is a new chance to hopefully have a better year.  Not sure what God has planned for me.... but i'm open to finding out.

"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us".