I have posted the words to the song "Blessings".  I have really come to like this song.  It contains alot of my thoughts and feelings right now.  It speaks of healing - It's a really hard place to be sometimes. I have more questions than answers.  I've ask a zillion times why God didn't answer the multitude of prayers for healing.

I am then reminded God gives us what we need rather than what we want. No one said we have to like it.  I need to look at life as speed bumps.  Speed bumps are things we all have to get over in order to enjoy the rest of the journey.

 

We have 3 choices in life - We can Give Up, Give In, or Give It All You've Got.  That goes along with my motto of "You can't go back,  You can't stay here, You must go Forward.  Everyday may not be good, but there is something good to be found in every day.  I've had some interesting challenges along the way but that makes life interesting.  Overcoming those challenges is what makes life meaningful.  I found this quote I want to share. "You may not end up where you thought you'd be,  but you will always end up where

you're meant to be."

 

If you haven't heard the song posted below - you can go to YouTube to listen.  It's an awesome song.

 

Laura Story - Blessings

We pray for blessings     We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep    We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering    All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops   What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights  Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom    Your voice to hear    And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love     As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea    And long that we'd have faith to believe

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops     What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights    Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us    When darkness seems to win    We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home    It's not our home

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops    What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights    Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments    Or the achings of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life    The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

The weeks are just flying by.  Summer is officially here this week.  It seemed to be so far away a couple of months ago and now here it is.  I keep incredibly busy - maybe not with what I want to be doing but with things that need to be done. At least the yard work has slowed down a little.  I have patted myself on the back with my tree and bush trimming abilities.  The next thing on my agenda is getting the timing right for putting the summer application of weed killer/fertilizer/whatever is in the bag on the lawn at just the right time to be effective.  Something tells me that I will be doing that process in the sprinkles of rain because my timing anymore has been a little off and I know it needs the rain to make it work.  So we'll see.....  

I was very fortunate to meet Kerrie Roberts Thursday night after a concert.  It was a huge deal for me.  She is the one who inspired me so much when dealing with R in the hospital and weeks following.  Her song "No Matter What" I posted on my blog several months ago.  She is an awesome person.  My brother in law had met her during the day on Thursday and told her about me and R and losing him to Cancer an how she was an inspiration to me.  She was in concert Thursday night along with Johnny Diaz. Following the Concert I had an awesome opportuntity to exhange a few words with her.  I was so glad I went.  

This weekend was a party weekend.  I got invited to my oldest grandaughters "Friend" B-Day Party".  There were 9 kids there and it was fun and busy.......and non stop.  LOL   Everyone had a great time.  Being around all those busy bodies will wear you out.  :)   

Sunday - we had a family birthday party and celebrated Fathers day with a super delicious cookout and surrounded by lots of family.  It was a tough day for me.  My heart is heavy on those holidays.  Just another one of those firsts (again).  How many of those do I have to endure in such a short time with everything else we've had to conquer?   I remind myself to keep a positive attitude and I will have fewer difficulities to encounter along my journey.   I keep myself motivated and pressing onward.

A positive attitude leads to happiness and success and can change your whole life. If you look at the bright side of life, your whole life becomes filled with light. This light affects not only you and the way you look at the world, but also your whole environment and the people around you. If it is strong enough, it becomes contagious.

Life’s not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter even sliding down a rainbow.

– Cherralea Morgen

Positive Thinking

It is better to talk of health, progress, happiness, and success, than of the contrary things.  It is better to think of the beautiful, truthful, inspiring, and ideal, than the opposite thoughts.  It is better to be cheerful, confident, expectant, and enthusiastic than to indulge in destructive feelings.  Knowing this, the right course is clearly open to you.  Fill your daily life so full of constructive thoughts and ideals, that there will be no room for negative and depressing ideas.  Confine your conversation to helpful, useful, encouraging subjects.  Be generous in thought, word, act, and purpose.  Make the world better for your being in it.  Take a strong stand for truth and righteousness, and make every day count toward your eternal progress and happiness. - Grenville Kleiser, 1917

Force yourself to concentrate on more positive thoughts and fewer negative thoughts. When a negative thought creeps in, overpower it with a positive one.  If your mind says, “I can’t possibly do this…“  Turn the tables on it an replace the thought with, “I can’t possibly fail!”

You’ll smile more.
You’ll feel happier.
You’ll feel more fulfilled.
You’ll have more confidence.
Nothing will seem impossible to you.

This week I have spent a great deal of time looking for the positive in alot of situations I am faced with.  I know I have been living in my own little world - doing my own little thing - not really having the energy or really caring about some of the things that used to mean a whole lot to me.  I have my own little PPP's at any given moment which is know is perfectly acceptable under the circumstances.  (PPP = Private Pity Party). For the most part I am still living up to my motto:  You can't go back.. You can't stay here.,.. You have to go forward... 

About the time I get those couple of steps forward then another first happens that can bring back all the emotions.  I had a birthday, my oldest grandaughter had a birthday and my oldest grandson played his first t-ball game. Those are all things that R enjoyed.  He would of been right out there on the field with E.  He would of taken me out for dinner and he loved celebrating the grandkids birthdays. 

I am hopeful that those "first time things" will get easier to deal with.  I am positive that mind over matter prevails to lesson the heartache.  I am working hard on the positive thinking - positive feelings - and making every day count and every day be the best it can be. 

“Real difficulties can be overcome; it is only the imaginary ones that are unconquerable.” – Theodore Vail

Happy Thoughts:

My 2 month milestone.
My grandchildren - so resilient - honest - lovable. 
My key start mower.
My memories of all the good times.
My best friend stealing me away for an afternoon of FUN!
My banana tree is unveiling a new palm leaf.
My garden.
My courage.
My faith.
My family.
My friends.
Walking/running 5 miles.
Biking 15 miles.
My job & co-workers.

Knowing that:

The most important things in life aren't things.
Less Is More
Grace is truely amazing.
I am being watched over daily.
No one knows what they can do until they try.
You don't always get what you want but you can keep wishing.
I'm not alone.
I draw strength knowing others care about me.
I know who's in charge.
I am blessed.

You don't have to be the one responsible for making everything work.  Believe me.  The big things are already taken care of:  The sun will rise in the morning, the stars will come out at night, and -- if you work it right -- a child, someone you love, or a dear, close friend, will share a special smile with you -- and make everything wrong -- right again.
Douglas Pagels

"You Can't Go Back... You Can't Stay Here... You Must Go Forward..." 

This quote was staring me in the face in a book I have been reading. It makes a bold statement.  I have decided to borrow this quote for my motto.  It continues to remind me to keep moving on.  I have accomplished what I consider some "great feats" this weekend.... 

I changed my oil in my new mower which was suggested after 6 hours of use since the possibility existed of metal shavings etc...since it's new.  I read the book on how to do it and it worked very well.

I trimmed all the bushes and one tree with the electric trimmers....and I think they look pretty close to how R would of done them.  I was pretty proud of myself.  Good thing I have seen this done before by him. 

I bought stain for my deck.  As my luck would have it - I went to Lowes and walked into the stain aisle and it all might as well of been in Spanish, French or German because I had no idea what it said.  And where were all those wonderful helpers that are always there????  Finally a very sweet lady came along and helped me out.  She was my savior and I walked out with what I am pretty sure is what I need.

More times than not I wish I could just get an answer or two from R now and then.  I thought we had covered alot of material in a short amount of time during his illness but I am finding out - there is so much more to learn.  I have a lot of peeps that are very resourceful.  I'm more than grateful for answers when I need them.

I got my 5 miles in almost everyday this week.  One night I encountered a 5K race in progress on my route - luckily I was going the opposite direction so no one ran over me.  It sort of made me want to be a part of them.  But I am not ready for that yet.  However, I am making progress and I feel good about how far I have come to this date with picking running back up.  

I am ready for a new week to begin.  I can't believe it's going on 8 weeks in a few days that R checked out of life as we know it for something so much better.  A body made well again.  A opportunity to be with all the people who believe in everlasting life.  Walking on the streets of Gold each and every day never meeting a stranger. 

Be a Joy Germ and spread it to everyone you meet.  Find joy in the ordinary.  May your new week be overflowing with blessing.  You all bring joy to me and that means more to me than you will ever know.