My Son's Tribute - Read at the Funeral of his Father

“treat her like a fragile glass figurine

My dad spoke these words to me in the final weeks leading up to my wedding. He told me treat my wife like she is a fragile glass figurine. “Hold her gently.” “Calm her nerves.” “Talk things out.” “Seek first to understand her.” The first time he gave me this advice, I thought, “No problem, I can do that.” Now that I’ve been married for almost a decade, I'm beginning to understand what my dad was trying to teach me. He was teaching me to love well.

His words remind me of the the words in the Bible as Scripture speaks of loving your wife as Jesus Christ loved the Church. Sacrifice. Servant Leadership. Dying so she can live well.

When my dad told me to treat my wife like a fragile glass figurine, I immediately looked at him and thought of every interaction I could remember between him and his wife, my mom. He wasn’t telling me something he wasn’t living. It took my dad about twenty seconds for my dad to tell me to treat my wife like a fragile glass figurine, but I realized in that moment he had been teaching me this truth by example for about twenty years. 

My relationship with my wife is better because of my dad’s decision to love, honor, and respect his wife, my mother. She is a better, stronger, and more fulfilled woman because of his love for her.

My dad's love for his wife was absolutely genuine. His love didn’t come from a selfish place. His first thought about anything in life was directed towards how it would affect his wife and his family first. His life and personal well-being was always less important than that of his wife and his children. That's love.

He taught me that love is both a fleeting emotion and a strong commitment to another person. Love creates the butterflies in the stomach and the desire to stick it out through times. Love makes hearts burn with passion and break with loss. Love boasts of the good and takes pride in the soul of another.  

My dad was my model for how to love. I’m deeply appreciative and grateful for the integrity of my dad's love for my mom. There was no other. She was his, and he treated her like a fragile glass figurine. His love had integrity.

My dad was always showing my mom his love in different ways. It may have been as simple as flowers or a short note, but I remember calling my mom’s cell phone one day just to see what they were up to and my dad had whisked her off on a short vacation. Once my sister and I were grown and enjoying our own families, these short vacations, road trips, and  bed and breakfast trips became a more common occurrence. 

I love that he loved.

I love how he loved.

I love that he loved well.

I love that he would surprise my mom with gifts and trips and flowers and notes.

My dad’s example of how he loved my mom is the single most important contributor in how I try to love my wife. 

When a woman knows she is loved well, she is not afraid to become the woman she is meant to be. The heart and soul of a woman is empowered to flourish because she has the continual knowledge that there is someone very close to her that is pulling for her. My mom is who she is today because of how my dad loved her.

My dad's love for my mom teaches me that my relationship with my wife, and her relationship with me, is more important than any reality we find ourselves in. A husband’s relationship with his wife spans through many different realities and the relationship with each other and God is the only constant through all the changes that come throughout life. 

Most marriages make it through the everyday realities of life well enough. But if the relationship is going to survive the difficult and painful realities of life, the relationship must be put on a pedestal. The relationship must be elevated if it’s going to make it through the most difficult and painful realities of life. My parent's relationship mattered more than any reality they found themselves in. If one were looking for proof, all they need to do is look at my mom and how she cared for my dad up until the very end.

The love my father lived out through the years has started a beautiful cycle. My dad’s love for my mom was infectious to me. I caught it and I am trying to be like him everyday. My sister is who she is today because she was loved well by my father. He encouraged her. He told her she was a princess. He propped her up. He told her she could do anything. He took care of her. He hugged her. He loved her well. Then she found a husband who would treat her like my dad had treated her. Now my brother-in-law and I are going to raise our sons to love well. We are going to raise our daughters to recognize what it means to be loved well. The cycle will continue when they grow and navigate life and model for a new generation what it means to love as Jesus loved.

May you love well. 

May you abandon what makes sense.

May you surprise the ones you love.

May your integrity be noticed.

May we all model the love of Christ as well as my father has.