R started his day early with his cinnamon raisin toast at 5 a.m.  An hour later than normal....  :)  However...he woke up with a pretty good headache.  So I gave him the 3-T's :  Tea, Toast & Tylenol.  The headache subsided a little later - thank goodness.  I came home from work at lunch time and he seemed a little on the downside from what I left this morning. He had visited this morning with a good friend.  He has really come to enjoy the visits with KS alot.   It's more than the goodies he brings every so often - but today it was talk through lunch about how good the Oatmeal is that came from McDonalds.

He rested following lunch - at least he said he did - then he had some company followed by my parents fixing a wonderful dinner of mashed pot/gravy, baked chicken and salad and cherry pie. Momma's cooking is always wonderful!

After dinner - it didn't take R long to get to his bed and he fell asleep and I worked for an hour to wake him up to get his 9:00 meds into him.  He was super tired and didn't want me to even talk to him.  He was agitated with me but I kept on. Once I got him awake - he did take his meds and now working on getting him settled down for the night. He is experiencing another headache and says he has the start of a sore throat. I hope that just gently disappears by morning.  We don't need another thing for him to deal with.

 Pray for him to wake up tomorrow and have a super day.  He told me a few days ago that the last of the week and the weekend was going to be great so I should be prepared.  I pray daily for the courage, strength and understanding of it all.  Just when I think I'm prepared the reality is always right around the corner staring at me.  I just hope I am preparing for some great days of him feeling better and gaining some strength.



The Munchkins

Here they are....  The little people.  The little guy on the left - our oldest grandson in his favorite shirt that he just can't quite give up yet.  Our youngest grandaughter is next.  She's patiently waiting while I snapped the camera about 12 times in 10 seconds to get a good shot of the four of them.  Our little man - wondering what just happened here and our oldest grandaughter suddenly liking getting her picture taken.  The two in the middle belong to our son and his wife.  The two oldest ones belong to our daughter. They all have a great time when we are fortunate enough to get them all in the same place.

R had a really good day today.  He woke up exceptionally chipper.  I got up early because I was awake and knew that he would want his cinnamon raisin toast anywhere from 4 a.m. to 5:00 a.m. And today was no different. During the day he rested for awhile, then did some walking and exercising his legs and he says it was helping.  The days he feels good - he gets tired of laying around - wants to do something - but physically it's really tough for him to do much.  This evening I took him for a ride.  He was pretty much done for following that.  He's in bed early sleeping peacefully. 

Thanks to your help  - we have the massage therapy all set up to begin.  He's anxious to see if it helps.  Praying for another good day tomorrow.  I am ready to see what's under my eyelids for the next couple of hours until midnight rolls around for a med round.

Ask and you shall receive.  Thank you all who offered suggestions and more for the massage therapist.  We have some good leads that will be able to help R very soon.  We appreciate your help once again.  We are so blessed to have so many caring people in our paths.  We thank God for every one of you daily. 

We had a great couple of days with our kids and grandkids.  I think tomorrow R will be resting most of the day in peace and quiet.  We adored the grandkids and he and I both were glad to have the family time.

He had some trying times today with his leg issues.  That is really the only complaint he has anymore.  He had an episode today with alot of weakness  in his legs. He is getting weaker overall each day.  The progression of this ugly disease is not something I ever wanted to experience.   We continue to stack up the dressing on his back to keep the crazy liquid absorbed and from leaking all over the place.  He didn't rest much today but he is getting some good sleep right now...... as I set here blogging.  

We pray for a good night.  We pray for understanding, courage, strength, stamina and endurance as we face the days to come.     

Our son and his family made a visit today.  R and B got to spend a little time running some errands together.  B got to drive my new car and R stayed in the car while B did the errands.  R was tired tonight - but he managed the entire family getting together for dinner.  All 4 grandkids in the same place rarely ever happens.  It was fun.  I got a pic of all four of them together....if I have time I will post it so you all can see 4 of the cutest little people ever.

It is now getting late and I have learned to get to sleep when R goes to sleep - at 4:15 a.m. this morning he was starving and I made him raisin toast and after you do that you may as well stay up and begin your day.   You just never know when he's going to need something outside of our midnight ritual.  On that note - I have to shut down mentally and physically.   

If anyone knows of a massage therapist that does house calls for cancer patients...please let me know.  R has really been having a time with his legs and possibly a professional MT would be beneficial. 

To be able to enjoy another "good" day was a blessing to us both.  We had sunshine, good visits, and Key Lime Pie.  He was setting in the recliner today when I returned from getting a few things at the store visiting with his brother and his wife.  It was so good to see him out of the hospital bed.  I am grateful for the good days.  He deserves the good days given all that he is enduring.

His endurance was tested this evening when we traveled downstairs to see a movie like we have done so many times in the past.  He had a very trying time getting back upstairs.  The emotions began as we both realized how weak he is getting.  The good feelings we experienced the last couple of days disappeared pretty quickly.  He didn't sleep well last night and never rested much today at all.  He is now sleeping very well as I set here blogging.  I hope that his night is good - because that makes my night restful. 

I am hoping like crazy that he has some good days while our son and his family are here for a visit this week. We are both looking forward to having all the kids and grandkids together.  We ask for prayers for the unknown.  We ask for understanding, strength and courage as we keep moving forward.  We don't look back. We focus on one day at a time.

"The nature of God is a circle of which the center is everywhere and the circumference is nowhere."

The day started out quite out of the ordinary.  When he wakes before me - you know it's early because I'm an early riser.  He stressed how he wanted to go out to breakfast today.  I quit talking him out of these things because I believe they are really important to him and I want him to have his "wants" fulfilled because you just never know what tomorrow holds.  We were headed for one place and he all of a sudden changed the direction which was ok.  I knew this restaurant had some steps which are a challenge for him - but we did it.....but barely...he tried the first step and went almost all the way down...  I was a nervous nellie after that.  He's a little unsteady without his walker - but we did it. 

Inside the restaurant we visited a short time with a very sweet lady from our church.  She ended up paying for our breakfast and our waitress told us about it after she left. Thank you GC.  We always hear about others encountering a random act of kindness - but that is a first for us.  We felt special especially since we have not eaten out since early December. 

Following our breakfast I was going to run into the grocery and R was going to set in the car - I always find a parking place for him to watch the people if he goes along....then all of a sudden he decided he was going in and walk with the cart. He did pretty well.  I made it a very fast trip.  Following all of that - he was pretty much done for the day. He spent alot of time resting the remainder of the day.  Our daughter stopped by to say hi and our oldest grandaughter ended up hanging out with us the rest of the day.  We did some baking together and just some good diversion time for me.

No change in the leg issues or the draining back issue. The last couple of days have been pretty good for R.  Pray that the week starts off the same way. 

"Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror".

Friday... Always glad for Friday to be here. R had one of his better days today in recent days. He stayed by himself this morning and I came home after I worked half the day.  His spirit has been good.  I took him out for a ride to get him out of the house for a little bit.  He doesn't last too long when we do that but I know he enjoys an outing periodically.   He had a friend stop by and visit and then he fertilized our yard.  Thanks KP!!  We both appreciate that.  At least I think so now...  in a couple of weeks when the grass won't stop growing....I may have a different perspective.  :) 

He's pretty tired tonight - he hasn't rested at all since I got home today.  His left leg isn't cooperating very well.  He keeps moving even though it's difficult at times - at least he can still get around.  Time for me to become the nurse and get his nighttime meds in him before he passes out on me. 

Looking forward to hopefully some good days this weekend.  Thankful for a sunny end to the day.  May the warmer temps return very soon.  I need to be able to get him outside to enjoy some fresh air.

"A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities."

This week seems to be flying by.  I say that now - but on Tuesday I thought the next day was Thursday.  Skipping Wednesday didn't seem like a bad idea this week. And all of a sudden it's Friday and we make it though another week.  We had a visit today from our niece and her hubby from MI.  It was wonderful to see them and spend a little time together.  We shared the cancer stories,some tears and laughter.  S was diagnosed with cancer just prior to R finding out about his cancer.   She's doing great!  We pray for her strength and best wishes that everything remains good for her.  

I came home today to be able to see the Hospice Nurse and meet our new nurse.  We had a chance to catch up on a few things.  It was an emotional talk for me to get some answers to some things I have needed to know and some things I didn't expect to hear but the reality of it is - It is good information for me and I need to get it processed.  I really like our new nurse.  It takes a special person to be able to come and deal with such an evil disease.  To be able to comfort everybody - spend as much time as need be and always be a phone call away is awesome.  She just fit in today.  I was a little apprehensive when I found out Tonya was going into the Hospice Home and would be leaving the Visiting Nurse deal - but it's going to be ok.  

My parents were here when I got home from work making strawberry shortcake and warming up dinner.  Good food - good conversation - relaxing end to my day. R was pretty tired tonight and went to bed early.  But not before he got a great leg and foot massage.  He says it does help with the numbness.  Time for me to get some sleep. My cold is much better today.  I have been working hard at getting it flushed out of my system. 

May you all have a great Friday and a wonderful weekend. 

One of our dear friends spent the morning with R today. They cooked breakfast and just had some good one on one time.  I got here for lunch and he was ready for a nap after we ate. He was dozing off and on the rest of the day in between keeping his sweet tooth happy.  He is having quite a time with his legs. They are becoming very numb.  We start doubling up on the numbing medicine beginning tomorrow. We take one day at a time sometimes half the day at a time.  The draining from the little hole in his back has let up some days and others not so much.  Seems to be no rhyme or reason.  Just one more thing to keep me on my toes.

We are so blessed with the generosity of family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and the list goes on.  You all  have been amazing and we appreciate your encouragement, cards, wonderful food, company and most of all prayers.

I have caught a cold the last couple of days - so I need to get some sleep while he is sleeping so hopefully I can get rid of it quickly. I'm trying to keep my distance and I pray that he doesn't get my germs.   



     

Thank you to our wonderful daughter for spending a great deal of her day here to help out! The nurse came today and they got to meet our new nurse who will be starting next week.  I hope to be here on Thursday to meet the new gal who will be R's nurse. 

His day was good today. It's amazing that some days are not so good and others are just the opposite.  I prefer the better ones.  Unfortunately the not so good days seem to outnumber the better ones. We try to always find the positive and keep things upbeat no matter what.  Somedays that is a struggle but it's important when you are caring for him.  I was thinking today about how the grandkids have pretty much forgotten the way things used to be. How Grandpa used to take them for walks - romp on the floor with them - play games and puzzles them.....the list could go on.... they have totally accepted his illness and the way they see him these days. To see things through their eyes....  

God has a way of orchestrating the various races we run during the course of our lives.  He trusts us to do our part in "manning the rigs."  We must trust Him to determine the result of the race.  As one engineer has said, "God provides the initial input.  We provide the output. And God provides the outcome."

I think R had a tolerable day.  I heard he behaved himself today.   He spent it with his wonderful sister who gave me her day off to spend with her brother while I went to work.  He sort of gave me a complex because he seemed dumpy soon after I got home.  He has been very tired this evening. His appetite hasn't been affected by everything he is enduring. His back must be healing because it is being kind in the draining process and not going through so many dressing changes.  May that continue. I was ready to get some super glue and have at it.  He is still having the leg issues with the numbness going on as well.  The pain level is tolerable right now. 

Please keep us in your prayers.  It's a tough time for understanding the whole picture that's being painted before our eyes.  Our daughter will be spending some of her Spring Break with her dad starting tomorrow.
He is looking forward to her being here.  I think she is bringing two little people with her.  That should perk him up. 

Pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers.  If you do this you will experience God's peace...His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest.  Philippians 4:6,7

Today was an "off" day at our house.  R wasn't feeling the best most of the day.  If you saw the sign on the door - thank you for being considerate.  He slept quite a bit and started having some pain in his lower back once again.  I talked him into taking his additional pain pill and the pain became tolerable. He had some anxiety this afternoon as well. 

His legs are getting a little worse - massaging them does help.  His little hole in his back has been nice to me today. Oddly enough it hasn't leaked like it has in the last couple of weeks.  Maybe it's finally getting healed and sealed.  That would be an answer to prayer!!  He perked up here at the end of the day and was feeling better, ate dinner, visited with good friends (thank you D & M) , and watched some TV.   JAR - I made your Kettle Corn recipe and it turned out just like yours.  He was happy and it tasted good to him!! 

Praying for courage, strength, and understanding of God's will. 

The "Bloggers Block" is hitting me tonight.  I just feel so helpless at times.  I want to do so much more for R and there isn't anything I can do but what I am doing.  I wish I could make things better.  For the most part I am given strength to respond to him and handle the anxiety and fears he has - but sometimes I just don't even know what to say.   

I've spent some time the last few days wondering "Why".... Why is this happening to us??? Why does there have to be so much sufferning?  Why does God allow a trial like this?  What more does he want to teach us from all this?  I have grown so much through all of this. I have learned a ton!!!

I came across this little poem today when I was searching for something else...

What God is doing you may not know now,
But someday you’ll understand why;
Questions that taunt you and trouble your mind
Will one day have heaven’s reply. —Hess

What’s better than answers to our why questions?
Trusting a good God who has His reasons.

Little blessings....

I took a half day off work to spend with R.  It was a nice start to the weekend.

You could stand at the front door this afternoon and watch the daffodils inch their way up through the ground.

The sunshine and warmer temps just seem to make the days better.
 R's day was decent even though he was pretty tired most of the day.   

My mom made homemade cookies here today.  They were pretty good!  Why are things always better when moms make them?

We went for a ride tonight.  He was anxious to get out and go somewhere.  He's happy with just a little bit of an outing. 

I went to the license bureau today and it only took me 20 minutes to get my plate transfered and title work for my new car.  I was dreading that trip.  My faith in the system has been restored (for this visit that is).

Please continue to keep R in your prayers.  He has some issues that are becoming more evident.  Your prayers and encouragement keep us going.  Thank you for what you do for us in all facets.  It is appreciated more than you know. 

R started his day with a couple of friends who brought breakfast for them to enjoy.  He said it was good food and good company.  I'm thankful for those who keep coming to spend time with R.  I came home for lunch and he was still full from breakfast.  Which was unusual - usually he's starving and ready to eat the minute someone mentions food. 

This afternoon he was supposed to take a nap so maybe he could stay up past 7 - but that didn't happen. I think he was watching all that basketball on TV today. So that being said - he was in bed by 7:30 and fell into a deep sleep and it was pretty tough to wake him for his medicine and change his dressing.  He got irritated with me when I did wake him up. I keep telling myself it will all look better in the morning.  Unfortunately he won't remember this happened in the morning.

His legs were giving him fits this morning - but they did improve a little during the day. The extra meds may be helping that issue.  He had a couple of headaches today.  He managed to step outside this afternoon and set briefly on the swing to enjoy a little bit of the warm air today. He was asking at lunch today where we could go - Not sure how much he can handle - a brief trip last night literally was more than he could handle.  The visions are there - but the reality of it is not.  I would love to take him anywhere he wanted to go if only he could. 

Prayer is not only "the practice of the presence of God," it is the realization of His presence."

 

Attitude determines how much of the future we are allowed to see. It decides the size of our dreams and influences our determination when we are faced with new challenges.

We were blessed with a visit today from our Son and our two youngest grandchildren.  He should get the dad of the year award - doing the 2 hour drive one way to visit for awhile and then going back.  He is amazing with the kids.  They were adorable!!  I took our youngest grandaughter along to surprise the oldest grandaughter when I took her to school today.  She was surprised and thought that I could pick her up after school so she could play at our house.  Tug at the heartstrings!!  I went back to work and Miss A had to go home with her daddy.  Thanks B for making the trip!!  It was wonderful to see the three of you.   

I was hoping R would keep his great attitude through this challenge.  He is getting a little more discouraged as the days go by.  His legs - mainly his knees are really beginning to really bother him.  His anxiety level is climbing a little more some days.  We got the dosage uped today for the medicine that should help with the nerve issue in his legs - the dr. seems to think that may help.  I hope it does. 

He said he stepped outside today for a little sunshine and fresh air.  He said it was nice to be outside for a few minutes.  When I got home and we ate a delicious dinner provided by friends - I took him for a ride - he watched the crazies in the parking lot at Meijer while I ran in to pick up a few things and then he wanted to visit the DQ for a Peanut Buster Parfait - so I obliged him.  Then he crashed early...... and now it's my turn to hit the pillow. 

Pray for R's symptoms to be tolerable.  Pray for understanding, courage and strength to get through the days to come. 

"Courage is not the absence of  fear; but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear."

It was a better day than I thought it was going to be today.  He slept in a deep sleep last evening so when I got him to bed last night - he was wide awake and the tv was on until 11:30 which is about 3 hours past my normal bedtime. :)  Then he has a restless night the rest of the night which makes for a tired morning / afternoon today.  The dreary rainy day didn't help much either.  He did rest this afternoon and he is currently laying there watching tv with one eye open and one eye closed.  He hopefully sleeps well tonight. 

Two super wonderful people spent time with R today.  He enjoyed the visits with you both.  Our church family is super awesome!  They have provided us with so much.  We are thankful for everyone of you.  We enjoyed a treat for dinner tonight....Waiter On The Way...  Thank you G & E.  You two are so thoughtful.  Big dinner and he still had room for Apple Pie which we are received last night. 

Healthwise - he still has the issues with his legs. They may possibly increase his med he takes for the tinglies and hopefully that will help with the issues of numbness.  He had a decent day today overall.
May he sleep well tonight so I can sleep well.  

"Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.    

Getting started here everynight is always a little tough.  I come home from work and he said his day was good. My parents were here today and they did some chores which I greatly appreciated.  He even had my dad cleaning the carpets - they did need it and they look great!  Thanks Mom & Dad.  He was pretty tired when I got home. Maybe watching them do all that work made him tired.  He's been getting more and more tired as the days go on. 

He is having some issues with numbness in his left leg.  A little TLC and he felt better. The little hole in his back is still draining.  I'm ready to take stock in the company that makes those absorbant bandages and tape.   My evening wasn't spent being much of a caretaker - because he fell asleep after we ate and he never woke up until I had to really work at waking him for his meds and get him to move to another bed.  All that accomplished and he is sleeping pretty good once again.

We ask for prayers for strength, understanding and courage. We keep moving onward....

  

I got a nice treat today - I was stolen away to go with my daughter and grandaughter to Princess On Ice.  It was a great show. My grandaughter wore her princess dress as well as probably 2/3 of all the other little girls there.  It was really a fun time!  It felt great to do something out of the ordinary.  Our son in law was left in charge of R while I went with A & A today.  It worked out just fine.

R is very tired again tonight.  He needs to learn to get some rest during the day.  His day was pretty typical overall.  We had a nice surprise in our realm of visitors today - my 2nd cousin and his wife surprised us. We  haven't seen them for a very long time.  We are grateful for the many surprise visitors we have.  It makes our support group even stronger. 

We very much appreciate everything everyone is doing for us.  Please keep the prayers coming.  It means so much to us.  I got all those clocks changed this morning and now I am feeling the effect of the hour I lost somewhere.  It could be from the time change - but realistically it's probably R and the hour he chooses to begin the day which sometimes is very very early.  May you have a great start up to your week. I hope I have nothing but good things to relay to all of you. 

"There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as though everything is a miracle.  We look at each day we have as a miracle. We are hoping to be blessed with tons of miracles - one day at a time. 

We said goodbye to R's sister today - she went back to Florida.  She was a huge blessing to us.  She will be missed.  She gave up alot to be with us to help out - and we appreciated everything so very much.  We'll be experiencing a little different routine here now beginning this week - one day at a time.

With mornings being R's best time of day - he rode along for me to accomplish a couple of errands today.  It completely wore him out and he never even got out of the car. He took a nap this afternoon and this evening we enjoyed some good company and good food. His pain level has been very tolerable. He was having an issue yesterday with more the tingly feeling in his arms and legs - but it had subsided by this morning.   Those symptoms seem to happen more so after he's overdone the day.

I just realized I didn't spring the clocks forward tonight..... Honestly - my mind is always sidetracked these days.  Tomorrow is a new day - I am not leaving my cozy covers to go all over the house to move those crazy clocks. May you all have a restful night. 

Build him up so that no matter what happens he will be able to stand strong through it.  Help him to be always "rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer". 
Romans 12:12   
  

R's had a day today where he's been pretty tired most of the day.  He had a good visit this morning from a dear friend that has been in our lives for many years.  No matter how much time goes by we can still make a call or send an email to her and we just pick up and go on like we never left off.   Thanks Mom & Dad for bringing RH down to visit. I enjoyed coming home for lunch to see everyone. 

He rested this afternoon.  After that he felt good enough to go for a car with his sister.  By the time I get home there isn't much interaction from him. As the day goes on - the more worn out and tired he becomes.  I'm grateful for Saturday and Sundays to spend with him. I made sure he got his meds tonight before he ever got back to the bedroom.  Not going to go through that again.   

Pray for courage, understanding and strength to cope with whatever is in our path on this journey. 

"Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in this life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from."  

According to the blog count -this makes Day 100 - 100 days of a life changing experience. We have all learned way more than we ever wanted to know if a very short amount of time.  Believe it or not - there are some good things that have come from this illness.  We learn to appreciate the little things in life.  We learn to not take so much for granted.  We try to live each moment to the fullest.  We gain an appreciation for each new day we are given.  We never know what lies ahead and we don't think about the future much.  We don't plan anything anymore - if there is something in our planner and it happens then it's bonus!  It just adds to the plus side of things.  And it's nice to have some things on the plus side - since so many things end up on the minus side.

R (supervised - from what I hear) the installation of a new sump pump in our basement today.  Thanks KS!  I understand he navigated the steps 4-5 times today.  When I got home tonight he said he honestly has never been so tired.  He ate dinner and sat there and fell asleep.  He was in bed by 7:20 tonight.  I do believe he was serious about being tired...I've tried for the last 1/2 hour to get him to wake up and take his 9:00 o'clocks - but I'm not having any luck - so I guess he'll be going without.  We'll see how he does with that. I'll have to see if I can slide in any of them with his midnight stuff.  Time will tell.  

He's looking forward to a visit from a dear friend of ours tomorrow.  I hope to sneak away and join them for lunch tomorrow.  May we all have a restful night.  TGIF (almost).

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

Sort of a busy day for R.  He had some good company to share breakfast with today along with other company this morning and afternoon.  I drove him to get our Taxes done - he did pretty well - but was very tired when we returned.  One more thing off the "list".  Grateful to be getting some of the stuff taken care of.

 Anybody have any ideas how to speed up the healing process with this hole in his back????  The draining is "draining" all of us.  It's going to have to be addressed tomorrow with the Visiting Nurse and we'll see what the dr. says.  I've heard it takes a long time - and it is looking better - but let's speed up the closing of this incision.  

R's been feeling pretty much the same.  We got some medication for the tingly legs, hands and feet - he says it doesn't really help.  His pain level is very good.  He was upset we didn't follow through with the pain pack last week - but --- he has only taken one of two different pain pills.  We keep asking him if he needs a pain pill but so far so good.   May that continue to be the case.

We are blessed, encouraged and inspired daily in many ways.  Thank you!!  

Wow....this is day 98 for blogging.... that means that for almost 100 days we have lived this whirlwind of a new way of life. Totally insane!  We have been through so much.  It's all a blur and I'm glad if I have to know anything I can refer back to my notes here.

I understand from R's wonderful care-taker (JAR) that he has slept alot today.  He was up wanting dinner when I got home - we ate and he went right back to sleep.  I hope he sleeps tonight or I am in for a lllooonnnggg night. His craving for the day was Kettle Potatoe Chips which JAR had to make a run for.  You just never know what he is going to ask for next.  We are all about whatever it takes to make him happy.  :)

The hole in R's back is getting a little smaller day by day.  It is draining like a faucet right now for some reason.  Extra padding for absorbing action is the name of the game right now. It just takes forever for healing with everything his body is going through.  Slow but sure - we are getting there. 

We are one day closer to Spring.  May those temperatures continue to invade our area and keep the chills away.  Hugs to all.  Have a good night and a great day tomorrow.  Your prayers are always needed and appreciated. 

I wanted to take today to say a huge Thank you to my sister in law - JAR!   She has been her for a little over a month to help us out. Sadly she will be leaving this weekend to return home.  She has been amazing with her brother!  She has been amazing to me!!  She does it all!  She has been a huge help!  I have very much appreciated everything she does and I hope she knows how much!!!!  We are going to miss you alot!!  I can't thank you enough for your offer to come and be with us during this very stressful time.  Hugs to you!! 

Until you go through this - it's hard to understand how Cancer reroutes your entire life and the direction you thought you were going.  It's a very difficult time and it changes you. It changes the way you think and preceive things.  It makes you mourn the past and the person(s) we used to be.  We don't get a re-wind.  We are slowing progressing onward to the unknown.  We try to stay focused on each day we've been given and we feel very fortunate that God has allowed us yet another day to rejoice and be thankful.  We can't do it alone - you are all such a vital part of keeping us moving forward.  You are all appreciated. We can never thank you enough.  Keep the prayers coming.     

We started the day pretty early today again.  I'm not so sure he's been sleeping the greatest -- lately I've been passed out and subsconciously watching him with one eye open one eye closed and as long as he's not needing anything I don't move other than getting that midnight pill into him. He's had a pretty decent morning.  We hosted our sunday school class this morning and it was so good to see everyone - it's been awhile since we've been at church.  We hope we get to see everyone again soon.  

He took a little nap this afternoon - had some good company - enjoyed our two oldest grandkids for a bit. Our son in law took R out for an errand and he snuck back in the house with a Shamrock Shake.  His sweet tooth just doesn't quit. 

The nurse came tonight to resolve an issue he was having. Following that ordeal  he was ready to end the day.   Pray for us as we begin a new week.  A new week of never knowing what will come to us day to day. We hope it's nothing but good.  Be a joy germ to someone out there.  :)
 

Happy 58th Anniversary to my wonderful parents today.  We had a little family brunch here today to celebrate.  It was a very trying time for R.  Emotions were running high for both of us.  He was completely out of sync this morning.  He woke up that way very early today.    

This afternoon he was a completely different person.  He perked up and felt like going for a ride.  I thought I'd surprise him and pulled into a big parking lot and told him he could drive the car around the parking lot - but he wasn't thrilled about that. He said if he couldn't take it down the road he had no desire to drive it. (Thanks TB for the idea on the parking lot - sounded good.......but as you can see he didn't buy it.)  Our highlight of the drive was registering our OnStar while we sat in the Meijer Parking lot.  Wooooowweeeee.

 He felt like going shopping while we were out - which we did not do - I ran into Walgreens and left him in the car to wait for me.  Then he wanted to go out to eat....which we did not do either.  I know..i'm no fun anymore. LOL   It just scares me to possibly expose him to something and he probably think's I'm crazy.  Physically he just can't do any of the above.  He walks a little ways and he's done.  His mind tells him he can go anywhere and do anything but reality is - he can't.  I would love to be able to do those things with him if only he could.

Pray for R and his anxious times.  Pray for a good night for both of us.  Pray for the unknown that we can have the courage and understanding to get through it all.  Tomorrow we begin a new day.  May it be a good one for everyone.  You are in our prayers.....thank you for keeping us in yours.

Thank goodness for Friday's.  The week has been fast and furious.  (at least I think so).  Today was much better for R than yesterday. His pain level has been pretty low today.  (Keeping fingers crossed that it continues to be low)  He had a dose of pain med before I went to work this morning at 7:00 and nothing until he was getting around for bed. I was impressed and amazed.  He had an issue with the hole in his back draining quite a bit last night.....so we may be addressing that issue again early in the week with the dr.

I think he's getting cabin fever.  He keeps asking to go somewhere.  He wanted to go to the Home & Garden Show tomorrow - however..... I knew he couldn't walk much there and the people are wall to wall and zillions of germs floating around.  I made my case and he is agreeing with me.  If the weather is decent this weekend  - I plan on taking him for a car ride in our new car.  I'll let him figure out the bells & whistles that I haven't had time to figure out.

We hope you all have a great weekend.  Praying for a good one here.   Keep the prayers coming our way.  They are very much appreciated.

 

I sign on everynight to tell you all about the day and what is happening in our lives.  Sometimes I am so tired that this is the last thing on my mind - but I keep going because I am so inspired by all of you who tell me they are inspired by me. That means alot to me.  Thank you for reading and keeping in touch.

So far the oral meds are working for the pain.  We hope like crazy they keep working well for him. We have some tweeking to do with doses and timing but our nurse has us on the right track with things.  Tomorrow should be better with a little different schedule of things.  

Asking for your prayers tonight for comfort, courage and understanding.  Sometimes it's very difficult to understand why we are chosen to deal with the hand we have been dealt.  We continue to trudge on one day at a time - sometimes minute by minute. 

Thankful for safe travels for our son and our 2 youngest grandchildren to make the trek home for a visit today.  Thankful for seeing our other two little people this evening.   That's a rare thing to see them all in the same day. 

Looking - praying - hoping for a new day tomorrow to begin anew --a new chance to make it better all the yesterday's.    

 

I can't believe we are entering the last 1/2 of the week already...Time is just going way too fast.  R spent some time wondering about how he could of pulled out that epi cath yesterday.  I think he had a pretty good day...  great visitors...  great food...  another nap today but thankfully the last tube in his body is still in where it should be.  Although he'd like to get rid of that one too - I wouldn't recommend anything drastic on that one. 

R will not be having surgery tomorrow to insert the permanent pain pump.  It was suggested to us to try the oral medication to see if it will work before we do the evasive surgery.  I felt like it was a good idea to give it a try especially since Dr. had told me he wasn't sure he was getting much medication out of the pump.  It has always been hard to tell what was working between the pain pump and the radiation or a combo of both.  The pain pump is still an option which is open to us if the next couple of days don't go very well and his pain increases.  We are also able to tweek the medication to help with the change in pain if need be.

On a happy note - I had a huge surprise when I walked in my house tonight.  3 of my friends from back home came for a surprise visit... and I was very surprised.  It was wonderful to see you LC, LC and TP.  We had a great visit!!   Thank you for coming down and thank you for the gifts.  You are all awesome!

Pray for a good night.  Pray for the pain to be controlled with oral medication.  Pray for a good end to a crazy week.  Pray for the sunshine to continue....It's so needed. Good night all. 

 

This is proving to be a very challenging week in more ways than one. But where R is concerned..... he did the wonder of wonders today.  He told his sister this morning he felt pretty good.  His pain was pretty much knocked down and he was doing well.  The morning continued that way. After lunch - he chose to take a nap which is not like him - because we can never get him to close his eyes for any period of time during the day.  I get a text with all the above information and I was a bit surprised that he wanted to take a nap.  He slept for over 3 hours and when he woke up - he realized that somehow he had pulled his pain tube completely out of his back.  I  get the phone call about 4 today at work... so I had to step it up once again and get him to Dr. Hatch. 

Dr. said he had pulled the entire pain tube out..... dr. was surprised that he could of done that.  R has no recollection of how it happened.  So... as of right now he is pain pump free.  We are substituting oral meds in place of the pump.  So far so good. After seeing Dr. Hatch today - they sent us to the hospital for the lab work to prepare for the surgery on Thursday to put the permanent pain pump in.  It's pretty interesting how it works and what it looks like.  It's shaped like a hockey puck and has tubing that goes around and feeds into his back.  The medication goes in through a needle right into the pain pump and lasts for approximately one month before it has to be refilled, 

We were gone entirely too long to do all that we had to do this afternoon/evening - by the time we got back home - he was on shut down.  Anxiety had set in and it was pretty tough getting him settled down tonight.
Pray that the oral medication will kick the pain. Pray that he receives understanding, courage and peace towards the unknown.  Pray for all of those making a difference in our lives. Love you all!!!